I've always been a dabbler but never really studied the art. Usually my dabbling is .. productive. If I focus love & luck spells work pretty much the way I want them too, with a few occasional surprises. I've been able to send people away without much difficulty. But I lose interest for years at a time, until I need something.

I had a seriously BAD childhood (gonna get a little graphic here, sorry, no other way to tell it). Little by little the people who made it bad are dying in the most intense ways. And they're unrelated.

An uncle who I hated was fed ground glass by a co-worked. It took him 8 months to die while his organ all went ganggreen (sp?) one at a time. 8 months of pain and suffering. He raped be regularly for 8 months when I was 11. Haven't spoken to him or my aunt in decades. I once wished with all of my heart that he would die a horrible painful death.

A step mother who was the archetype of evil stepmom. I also wanted to see her suffer. She died of brain cancer. Took two long years. She suffered.

Very recently, another relative died. He was responsible for sending me to a really abusive foster home where I lived for several years. He died of old age. Doesn't sound bad does it? It was discovered after his death that his caretaker was physically abusive for many years.

There are more stories like this. I haven't focused any energy on these people but they die almost exactly as I wished they would when I was young. Am I somehow doing this?